SUCCESS IS NEVER BY CHANCE
Many times we look at high achievers and assume they had lady luck at their side or made it without much effort.
Usually the opposite is true, and the so-called superstar had an incredibly rough time before he or she attained any lasting success.
It may motivate you more toward your own goals to know that some of the most famous and well-known people in modern times had
to overcome some of the most difficult obstacles and struggles before they finally reached the top. It takes persistence and total commitment to your goals, thats the secret!
A HIDDEN DIAMOND IN A PILE OF COAL
You may not know the background of a certain laundry worker who only earned a mere sixty dollars a week at his job but had the burning desire to be a writer.
He had to have his wife to worked part time at nights, and he will spent nights after his work and burn all weekends typing manuscripts to send to publishers and agents.
Every one rejected his work without even reading his manuscripts! But finally, a warm, more personal rejection letter came in the mail to the laundry worker,
stating that although his work was not good enough at this point to warrant publishing, so he promise himself as a writer and he should keep trying.
With that little glimpse of hope! He work diligently everyday so that he could go home early and write his story, over the next 1 and a half years,
he wrote two manuscripts and send to the same friendly-yet-rejecting publisher. and as before, he got replied with the same reply that his work was not up to standard
They got so poor now that the had to cut off their telephone to pay for medicine for their baby.Feeling totally discouraged, he threw his latest manuscript into the garbage.
BUT His wife, totally committed to his life goals and believing in his talent, took THE MANUSCRIPTS BACK OUT of the RUBBISH CHUTE and sent it back to Doubleday,
the publisher who had sent the friendly rejections.
The book, titled Carrie, sold over 5 million copies in the end and the movie became one of the top-grossing films in 1976.
The laundry worker, of course, was Stephen King.
Believe in your ability to turn obstacles into opportunities.
take a step back and ask yourself an intelligent question, "Did I cause this obstacle by my own actions or lack of them?
Successful people is able to sees opportunity in a crisis. while the majority of the folks can only see crisis in every opportunity
Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could
benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them!
Showing posts with label Life skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life skills. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Who ARE YOU ????
Hi my friends and family,
This article is an extract from my friend/partner/coach, Adam khoo`s
upcoming book 'Winning the Game of Life!' Do look out for it soon!
Winning in the game of LIFE
I have definately reserved it! as he will definately email EVERYONE haha !
so maybe i should, no i guess i just made a
decision to do it for my company & aai family. yes!
feed your brain like how u feed yourself everyday!
here it goes......
After working with over 550,000 people in seven countries through
my seminars and coaching sessions, I have found that when a person
makes a change and it lasts, it is because they did not just make a
change at the behavioural, emotional or cognitive level, but they
make a shift at the level of self-identity.
What is the meaning of identity?
Identity is the belief you have
about who you are as a person. It is how you see yourself. I
remember watching an animated movie called 'Ice Age 2' that really
illustrates the power of identity. In the movie, there is a mammoth
(prehistoric elephant) named Ally who lost her herd when she was
just a baby. As a result, she was adopted by a family of possums
who brought her up as one of their own. Growing up in a family of
possums, she began to believe that she was a possum herself.
The result? She behaved like a possum. She played dead whenever
predators like birds flew overhead. She hung upside down to sleep
and ran away when other animals came. She never realized that she
was a mammoth, the largest and strongest animal around. One day,
she met a male mammoth by the name of Manny. Manny tried his best
to convince her that she was really a mammoth and she shouldn't be
running away and hiding from everything she saw.
He brought her to a pond and asked her to look at her own
reflection to see who she really was. When she looked into the
water, she exclaimed, 'I am a big fat possum!' She was still not
convinced she was a mammoth even though the evidence was right in
front of her. What is the lesson in this story?
Many of us are like that mammoth.
We have tremendous potential and
are capable of amazing things in life. However, as we go through
life, we are sometimes convinced by the people around us that we
are 'lazy', 'unlucky', 'incapable', 'weak' etc... The moment we start
to see ourselves as an average person', we start behaving like one.
We start lowering our standards and adopting limiting beliefs and
attitudes. Even when we are shown our true potential, we hold onto
our limiting beliefs and refuse to see the truth.
The Way You See Yourself Affects Your Destiny
The way you see yourself (your identity) affects what you think you
can or cannot do. This in turn affects want you want in life (your
goals and standards). What you want will affect what you do (your
actions). Finally, your actions will determine your results and
ultimately your destiny.
Understanding the power of identity has really impacted my life
personally. When I was in primary school, I used to have a very
negative self-identity. I used to see myself as loser. I saw myself
as a slow, lazy and lousy student. Reflecting back, I have come to
realize that my identity was shaped by my past experiences and the
negative comments that people kept saying to me.
I used to spend all my time procrastinating, watching TV and
playing computer games, instead of doing my homework and studying.
I found it difficult to understand and remember what was taught in
class, so I didn't bother to pay attention. As a result, I kept
failing my exams and was always among the last in class. My friends
would call me stupid and my parents, tutors and teachers kept
saying that I was lazy. All these experiences soon shaped the way I
saw myself-as a loser.
As long as I saw myself as an underachiever, I never thought that I
could ever amount to anything. As a result, I low standards and no
future goals. All I wanted to do was pass my exams. Not failing was
a great achievement for me. This in turn gave me no inspiration to
take action. I would always put in the minimum effort. The result,
I kept getting lousy grades. God knows where I would be today if I
still held onto that identity.
So what made that 180-degree change in my life?
I went through a
powerful experience that totally changed my identity. At the age of
13, I attended a personal development program for youths. During
the programme, we were put through a series of challenging
activities to prove to ourselves that we were capable of achieving
more than what we thought. I was taught that my past behavior and
results did not determine who I was. I alone had the power to
choose the person I wanted to be. We were all taught to realize
that we had tremendous potential and could achieve anything we put
our mind to.
After five days of intensive positive conditioning, I began to see
myself as a 'winner'. I learnt to visualize myself as an 'A'
student, a winner, a leader and a future millionaire. That simple
shift in my mind, made a tremendous shift in my thoughts,
behaviours and my life. With this new identity, I began to think
that everything was possible in life. I began to set much higher
standards for my life. I wanted so much more. I set goals of
topping my school, going to university and becoming a successful
entrepreneur. I began to behave differently. I started to study
hard, ask questions and step up whenever there was an opportunity.
No doubt, my grades began to improve and the rest is history.
Through my own life experience, I have come to realize that it is
only when we change the way we see ourselves, will our entire life
change. Today I get a huge level of satisfaction helping both
adults as well as youths create shifts in their identity through my
life transformational programmes.
Who Are You?
I want you to take a few minutes and to reflect on this question,
'Who are you?' 'How do you currently see yourself?' Do you see
yourself as a winner or an average person? A motivated person or a
lazy person? An adventurer? A coward? A leader or a follower? Are
you a failure or a success? Are you an intelligent person? Are you
attractive or unattractive? Be totally honest with yourself and do
this exercise now.
Take a look at the identity you have described. Are there certain
aspects to your identity that empower you? Of example, if you see
yourself as a very determined person, it is unlikely that you will
allow yourself to give up easily. At the same time, are there
certain aspects of your identity that limit you? For example, if
you see yourself as a lazy person, then you will subconsciously
behave in a way that is consistent with that identity.
You Are More Than Who You Think You Are
If you have negative or limiting aspects of your identity, the good
news is that it is not cast in stone. You can change it! You must
remember that the identity that you now have is the result of
generalizations you have made of your past experiences and
behaviours. It does not define you unless you allow it to.
For example, if you see yourself as a lazy person, how did you
create this self-identity? It could be that there were times in the
past when you set certain goals and did not follow through. You did
not take action at times when you needed to. After witnessing this
behaviour in yourself a few times, you came to the conclusion that
you are a lazy person. The people around you may have also labeled
you as being 'lazy' after observing your behaviour. Once you gave
yourself that lazy label, it became comfortable and acceptable to
keep doing it.
Understand that you are not your past behaviours. Your past
behaviours are the result of past choices you have made and
emotional states you were in. You have the power at any time to
make new choices, put yourself into an empowering state and take
action. However, the moment you believe that you are a lazy person,
you will not change your choices and your behaviours.
If We Want to Make a Sustainable Change, it Starts
With Changing Your Identity
Remember that if you want to change any kind of behaviour or
result, you have to first change the way you see yourself. If you
want to achieve a greater level of success in your life, you have
to first see yourself as a successful person. You will then think
and act like a successful person. You will carry yourself
differently, speak differently and dress differently. You will
spend your time more effectively and demand a lot more from
yourself.
Steps to Change Your Identity:
So, who must you BE to achieve the dreams and the life that that
you want? For example, if you want to increase your fitness and
health, adopt the identity a healthy and fit person.
If you want to be successful, you have to first adopt the identity
of a successful person! You must be someone who is motivated,
resilient, decisive and passionate. You must see yourself as a
leader and a role model.
Step 1: Write Down Your New Identity
The process begins with you consciously writing down the identity
you want for yourself. So take as much time as you need and write
down all the parts of your new identity. Do it now!
When I did this exercise many years ago, I wrote down: I am a
future millionaire, I am a winner, I am an 'A' student, I am
fearless, I am an entrepreneur, I am a never say die person etc...
Step 2: Visualize Yourself As That New Person
Everything is first created in the mind before it is manifested in
physical reality. For example, if you want to be financially
successful, see yourself as a millionaire in your mind. Imagine
yourself living the lifestyle you want; living in the home you
want, driving the car you want and making million dollar
investment decisions. Your mind gives you the power to create
anything you want. By visualizing something over and over again
with intensity, it programs our subconscious mind to move in that
direction, causing us to think and behave in that way.
Step 3: Consciously Act According to Your New Identity
The next thing to do is to follow through with your actions.
Consciously decide to act according to your new identity until it
reinforces into a habit. For example, if you now want to become a
sociable person, start taking the initiative to say hello to people
and strike up conversations. Make the effort to remember their
names, keep their name cards and to follow up with a call or an
email. If it is something you may have never done before (because
you were an introvert or shy person) then it may seem uncomfortable
at the beginning.
This is where you have to break through your comfort zone and keep
doing it over again until it becomes your new comfort zone. The
moment it becomes comfortable, your new identity will stay.
Step 4: Make Physical Changes
Finally, you can also make physical changes to reinforce your
identity. You could change your hairstyle, your makeup, your
clothes and your accessories that are in line with the new you.
The moment I became a speaker, I started to dress differently. I
wore suits most of the time and carried a business travel case. I
wore my hair in a more mature and professional way. Somehow, our
physical appearance affects how we see ourselves and how others see
us. You can't be an achiever and dress in a sloppy manner. It just
doesn't work! So start to look and dress the part and you will
become that person you want.
Love li shao (andrew)
aai family
no.1 in Asia, the Best in the World
We are the Miracles Makers
This article is an extract from my friend/partner/coach, Adam khoo`s
upcoming book 'Winning the Game of Life!' Do look out for it soon!
Winning in the game of LIFE
I have definately reserved it! as he will definately email EVERYONE haha !
so maybe i should, no i guess i just made a
decision to do it for my company & aai family. yes!
feed your brain like how u feed yourself everyday!
here it goes......
After working with over 550,000 people in seven countries through
my seminars and coaching sessions, I have found that when a person
makes a change and it lasts, it is because they did not just make a
change at the behavioural, emotional or cognitive level, but they
make a shift at the level of self-identity.
What is the meaning of identity?
Identity is the belief you have
about who you are as a person. It is how you see yourself. I
remember watching an animated movie called 'Ice Age 2' that really
illustrates the power of identity. In the movie, there is a mammoth
(prehistoric elephant) named Ally who lost her herd when she was
just a baby. As a result, she was adopted by a family of possums
who brought her up as one of their own. Growing up in a family of
possums, she began to believe that she was a possum herself.
The result? She behaved like a possum. She played dead whenever
predators like birds flew overhead. She hung upside down to sleep
and ran away when other animals came. She never realized that she
was a mammoth, the largest and strongest animal around. One day,
she met a male mammoth by the name of Manny. Manny tried his best
to convince her that she was really a mammoth and she shouldn't be
running away and hiding from everything she saw.
He brought her to a pond and asked her to look at her own
reflection to see who she really was. When she looked into the
water, she exclaimed, 'I am a big fat possum!' She was still not
convinced she was a mammoth even though the evidence was right in
front of her. What is the lesson in this story?
Many of us are like that mammoth.
We have tremendous potential and
are capable of amazing things in life. However, as we go through
life, we are sometimes convinced by the people around us that we
are 'lazy', 'unlucky', 'incapable', 'weak' etc... The moment we start
to see ourselves as an average person', we start behaving like one.
We start lowering our standards and adopting limiting beliefs and
attitudes. Even when we are shown our true potential, we hold onto
our limiting beliefs and refuse to see the truth.
The Way You See Yourself Affects Your Destiny
The way you see yourself (your identity) affects what you think you
can or cannot do. This in turn affects want you want in life (your
goals and standards). What you want will affect what you do (your
actions). Finally, your actions will determine your results and
ultimately your destiny.
Understanding the power of identity has really impacted my life
personally. When I was in primary school, I used to have a very
negative self-identity. I used to see myself as loser. I saw myself
as a slow, lazy and lousy student. Reflecting back, I have come to
realize that my identity was shaped by my past experiences and the
negative comments that people kept saying to me.
I used to spend all my time procrastinating, watching TV and
playing computer games, instead of doing my homework and studying.
I found it difficult to understand and remember what was taught in
class, so I didn't bother to pay attention. As a result, I kept
failing my exams and was always among the last in class. My friends
would call me stupid and my parents, tutors and teachers kept
saying that I was lazy. All these experiences soon shaped the way I
saw myself-as a loser.
As long as I saw myself as an underachiever, I never thought that I
could ever amount to anything. As a result, I low standards and no
future goals. All I wanted to do was pass my exams. Not failing was
a great achievement for me. This in turn gave me no inspiration to
take action. I would always put in the minimum effort. The result,
I kept getting lousy grades. God knows where I would be today if I
still held onto that identity.
So what made that 180-degree change in my life?
I went through a
powerful experience that totally changed my identity. At the age of
13, I attended a personal development program for youths. During
the programme, we were put through a series of challenging
activities to prove to ourselves that we were capable of achieving
more than what we thought. I was taught that my past behavior and
results did not determine who I was. I alone had the power to
choose the person I wanted to be. We were all taught to realize
that we had tremendous potential and could achieve anything we put
our mind to.
After five days of intensive positive conditioning, I began to see
myself as a 'winner'. I learnt to visualize myself as an 'A'
student, a winner, a leader and a future millionaire. That simple
shift in my mind, made a tremendous shift in my thoughts,
behaviours and my life. With this new identity, I began to think
that everything was possible in life. I began to set much higher
standards for my life. I wanted so much more. I set goals of
topping my school, going to university and becoming a successful
entrepreneur. I began to behave differently. I started to study
hard, ask questions and step up whenever there was an opportunity.
No doubt, my grades began to improve and the rest is history.
Through my own life experience, I have come to realize that it is
only when we change the way we see ourselves, will our entire life
change. Today I get a huge level of satisfaction helping both
adults as well as youths create shifts in their identity through my
life transformational programmes.
Who Are You?
I want you to take a few minutes and to reflect on this question,
'Who are you?' 'How do you currently see yourself?' Do you see
yourself as a winner or an average person? A motivated person or a
lazy person? An adventurer? A coward? A leader or a follower? Are
you a failure or a success? Are you an intelligent person? Are you
attractive or unattractive? Be totally honest with yourself and do
this exercise now.
Take a look at the identity you have described. Are there certain
aspects to your identity that empower you? Of example, if you see
yourself as a very determined person, it is unlikely that you will
allow yourself to give up easily. At the same time, are there
certain aspects of your identity that limit you? For example, if
you see yourself as a lazy person, then you will subconsciously
behave in a way that is consistent with that identity.
You Are More Than Who You Think You Are
If you have negative or limiting aspects of your identity, the good
news is that it is not cast in stone. You can change it! You must
remember that the identity that you now have is the result of
generalizations you have made of your past experiences and
behaviours. It does not define you unless you allow it to.
For example, if you see yourself as a lazy person, how did you
create this self-identity? It could be that there were times in the
past when you set certain goals and did not follow through. You did
not take action at times when you needed to. After witnessing this
behaviour in yourself a few times, you came to the conclusion that
you are a lazy person. The people around you may have also labeled
you as being 'lazy' after observing your behaviour. Once you gave
yourself that lazy label, it became comfortable and acceptable to
keep doing it.
Understand that you are not your past behaviours. Your past
behaviours are the result of past choices you have made and
emotional states you were in. You have the power at any time to
make new choices, put yourself into an empowering state and take
action. However, the moment you believe that you are a lazy person,
you will not change your choices and your behaviours.
If We Want to Make a Sustainable Change, it Starts
With Changing Your Identity
Remember that if you want to change any kind of behaviour or
result, you have to first change the way you see yourself. If you
want to achieve a greater level of success in your life, you have
to first see yourself as a successful person. You will then think
and act like a successful person. You will carry yourself
differently, speak differently and dress differently. You will
spend your time more effectively and demand a lot more from
yourself.
Steps to Change Your Identity:
So, who must you BE to achieve the dreams and the life that that
you want? For example, if you want to increase your fitness and
health, adopt the identity a healthy and fit person.
If you want to be successful, you have to first adopt the identity
of a successful person! You must be someone who is motivated,
resilient, decisive and passionate. You must see yourself as a
leader and a role model.
Step 1: Write Down Your New Identity
The process begins with you consciously writing down the identity
you want for yourself. So take as much time as you need and write
down all the parts of your new identity. Do it now!
When I did this exercise many years ago, I wrote down: I am a
future millionaire, I am a winner, I am an 'A' student, I am
fearless, I am an entrepreneur, I am a never say die person etc...
Step 2: Visualize Yourself As That New Person
Everything is first created in the mind before it is manifested in
physical reality. For example, if you want to be financially
successful, see yourself as a millionaire in your mind. Imagine
yourself living the lifestyle you want; living in the home you
want, driving the car you want and making million dollar
investment decisions. Your mind gives you the power to create
anything you want. By visualizing something over and over again
with intensity, it programs our subconscious mind to move in that
direction, causing us to think and behave in that way.
Step 3: Consciously Act According to Your New Identity
The next thing to do is to follow through with your actions.
Consciously decide to act according to your new identity until it
reinforces into a habit. For example, if you now want to become a
sociable person, start taking the initiative to say hello to people
and strike up conversations. Make the effort to remember their
names, keep their name cards and to follow up with a call or an
email. If it is something you may have never done before (because
you were an introvert or shy person) then it may seem uncomfortable
at the beginning.
This is where you have to break through your comfort zone and keep
doing it over again until it becomes your new comfort zone. The
moment it becomes comfortable, your new identity will stay.
Step 4: Make Physical Changes
Finally, you can also make physical changes to reinforce your
identity. You could change your hairstyle, your makeup, your
clothes and your accessories that are in line with the new you.
The moment I became a speaker, I started to dress differently. I
wore suits most of the time and carried a business travel case. I
wore my hair in a more mature and professional way. Somehow, our
physical appearance affects how we see ourselves and how others see
us. You can't be an achiever and dress in a sloppy manner. It just
doesn't work! So start to look and dress the part and you will
become that person you want.
Love li shao (andrew)
aai family
no.1 in Asia, the Best in the World
We are the Miracles Makers
Friday, February 11, 2011
whats your legacy ?
When faced with adversity, do you lie down or do you fight?
Do you make the most of each day?
What will your legacy be?
When adversity strikes, it's not what happens that determines our destiny; it's how we react.
You have to believe you can do something and then have the courage and determination to see it through. That's what Finish Strong by Dan Green is all about. The book is filled with amazing stores about people from all walks of life who, in the face of adversity, against all odds...finished strong!
Finish Strong is more than a statement...it's an attitude. Today, I'd like to share one of the stories from the book about Miles Levin, a teenager, who despite his terminal cancer choose to persevere and inspire thousands by making each day count.
An excerpt from
Finish Strong
by Dan GreenAfter a two year battle with cancer, teenager Miles Levin, unfortunately lost his fight. However, during his final years, he achieved a level of self awareness, courage and wisdom that most of us will never reach. Miles chose to post his observations on a carepages.com blog and through his writings he inspired thousands of people. He wrote with amazing grace and eloquence. Some of his posts were short:
"Dying is not what scares me. It's dying having no impact."
Some were long and philosophical. But each post served a significant purpose in that it challenged a reader to think more deeply about life, death and making a difference. Through his expressions, Miles left this world a better place than he came into it. Here's what Miles said just one month after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.
"I went to the driving range the other day and I was thinking...I was thinking how you start out with a big bucket full of golf balls, and you just start hitting away carelessly. You have dozens of them, each individual ball means nothing to you so just hit, hit, hit. One ball gone is practically inconsequential when subtracted from your bottomless bucket.
There are no practice swings or technique re-evaluations after a bad shot, because so many more tries remain. Yet eventually you start to have to reach down towards the bottom of the bucket to scavenge for another shot and you realize that tries are running out.
Now with just a handful left, each swing becomes more meaningful. The right technique becomes more crucial, so between each shot you take a couple practice swings and a few deep breaths. There is a very strong need to end on a good note, even if every preceding shot was terrible, getting it right at the end means a lot. You know as you tee up your last ball, "This is my final shot, I want to crush this with perfection; I must make this count.
" Limited quantities or limited time brings a new precious value and significance to anything you do. Live every day shooting as if it's your last shot, I know I have to.
-Miles Alpern Levin, July 7, 2005.Like Miles suggested, we should treat each day as a precious ball of life. Take your time, take a breath and make a practice swing. Make each shot count and most of all finish strong!
The difference between our success or failure is not chance - it's choice. Which will you have chosen?
love li shao
aai family
the miracles makers
Do you make the most of each day?
What will your legacy be?
When adversity strikes, it's not what happens that determines our destiny; it's how we react.
You have to believe you can do something and then have the courage and determination to see it through. That's what Finish Strong by Dan Green is all about. The book is filled with amazing stores about people from all walks of life who, in the face of adversity, against all odds...finished strong!
Finish Strong is more than a statement...it's an attitude. Today, I'd like to share one of the stories from the book about Miles Levin, a teenager, who despite his terminal cancer choose to persevere and inspire thousands by making each day count.
An excerpt from
Finish Strong
by Dan GreenAfter a two year battle with cancer, teenager Miles Levin, unfortunately lost his fight. However, during his final years, he achieved a level of self awareness, courage and wisdom that most of us will never reach. Miles chose to post his observations on a carepages.com blog and through his writings he inspired thousands of people. He wrote with amazing grace and eloquence. Some of his posts were short:
"Dying is not what scares me. It's dying having no impact."
Some were long and philosophical. But each post served a significant purpose in that it challenged a reader to think more deeply about life, death and making a difference. Through his expressions, Miles left this world a better place than he came into it. Here's what Miles said just one month after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.
"I went to the driving range the other day and I was thinking...I was thinking how you start out with a big bucket full of golf balls, and you just start hitting away carelessly. You have dozens of them, each individual ball means nothing to you so just hit, hit, hit. One ball gone is practically inconsequential when subtracted from your bottomless bucket.
There are no practice swings or technique re-evaluations after a bad shot, because so many more tries remain. Yet eventually you start to have to reach down towards the bottom of the bucket to scavenge for another shot and you realize that tries are running out.
Now with just a handful left, each swing becomes more meaningful. The right technique becomes more crucial, so between each shot you take a couple practice swings and a few deep breaths. There is a very strong need to end on a good note, even if every preceding shot was terrible, getting it right at the end means a lot. You know as you tee up your last ball, "This is my final shot, I want to crush this with perfection; I must make this count.
" Limited quantities or limited time brings a new precious value and significance to anything you do. Live every day shooting as if it's your last shot, I know I have to.
-Miles Alpern Levin, July 7, 2005.Like Miles suggested, we should treat each day as a precious ball of life. Take your time, take a breath and make a practice swing. Make each shot count and most of all finish strong!
The difference between our success or failure is not chance - it's choice. Which will you have chosen?
love li shao
aai family
the miracles makers
Sunday, December 12, 2010
WOULD YOU HAVE SMILE ?
Would You Have Smiled At Him?
By Zig Ziglar
The story is told of a man who went to the top story of the Empire State Building in New York for the purpose of jumping off. When he got to the top he discovered that it was fenced in. Committing suicide there was impossible. As he was riding down the elevator, it occurred to him that by doing it that way he might injure or kill other people in the process. He re-thought and decided to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. Since it was a long walk, he had time to do more thinking. He decided that, if on the way even one person smiled at him, he would consider life worth living and not take his own life. The question is, had you been one of the people he met that day, would you have smiled at him and saved his life? '
I recognize that the question is rhetorical. However, the fact is that there are approximately three billion people on the face of this earth who go to bed hungry for food – but there are over four billion people who go to bed every night hungry for a smile, a word of encouragement, a friendly greeting. Wouldn’t it be tragic if one of those people was your mate, your child, your parents, a brother or sister, a neighbor? Maybe someone you work with who is a nice man or woman, but life has dealt them some cruel blows lately. A simple word of encouragement, an indication that you know of their difficulties and are concerned, can make a big difference in that person’s life. The interesting thing is that in the process of encouraging others, whether it’s with a smile, a friendly greeting, or a humorous, encouraging thought, we ourselves benefit. So, give that smile to the person who doesn’t have one. It could make a difference. Give it a try and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
Zig Ziglar is known as America’s motivator. He is the author of 29 books and numerous audio and video recordings. He brings his message of hope to thousands on the stages at the Get Motivated Seminars. he is one of my earlist mentors, check out our Strategy to Win book list and maybe get a book , food for though this xmas might be the best present yet!
MERRY XMAS 2010
love aai family li shao
By Zig Ziglar
The story is told of a man who went to the top story of the Empire State Building in New York for the purpose of jumping off. When he got to the top he discovered that it was fenced in. Committing suicide there was impossible. As he was riding down the elevator, it occurred to him that by doing it that way he might injure or kill other people in the process. He re-thought and decided to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. Since it was a long walk, he had time to do more thinking. He decided that, if on the way even one person smiled at him, he would consider life worth living and not take his own life. The question is, had you been one of the people he met that day, would you have smiled at him and saved his life? '
I recognize that the question is rhetorical. However, the fact is that there are approximately three billion people on the face of this earth who go to bed hungry for food – but there are over four billion people who go to bed every night hungry for a smile, a word of encouragement, a friendly greeting. Wouldn’t it be tragic if one of those people was your mate, your child, your parents, a brother or sister, a neighbor? Maybe someone you work with who is a nice man or woman, but life has dealt them some cruel blows lately. A simple word of encouragement, an indication that you know of their difficulties and are concerned, can make a big difference in that person’s life. The interesting thing is that in the process of encouraging others, whether it’s with a smile, a friendly greeting, or a humorous, encouraging thought, we ourselves benefit. So, give that smile to the person who doesn’t have one. It could make a difference. Give it a try and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
Zig Ziglar is known as America’s motivator. He is the author of 29 books and numerous audio and video recordings. He brings his message of hope to thousands on the stages at the Get Motivated Seminars. he is one of my earlist mentors, check out our Strategy to Win book list and maybe get a book , food for though this xmas might be the best present yet!
MERRY XMAS 2010
love aai family li shao
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Power of Listening
Its been sometime since i updated my blog, here`s something for you guys while and thing is going pick up as i going to make the switch to mac, finally!
Listening Wins Sales
There are books, articles and multi-day courses on listening. There are audio/video-learning programs that include hours of instruction and a variety of exercises. They are all valuable and helpful, but what they teach can be break down into a fundamental key, and without it, you fall into the category call, " the majority, does everyone who attends a program, seminar comes out being a millionaire?
Well the answer is obviously, no, and one of the main reasons lies in " listening " all you need is to become an excellent listener, and you see how it will lead you to people mastery, and that is the key towards building your T.R.C (Trust respect and care)
this will be helpful for peopel who wants to build a good relationship with thier friends, colleagues, people who are in the front line dealing with customers, people who are in the management level who would like to build the rapport with your team.
after all, your work makes up most of the time of your life, why make it a miserable one? agree :)
Listen Attentively When Others Speak
The best listening skill is to listen attentively. Lean forward; face your cust, prospect, partners directly rather than at an angle. Focus your attention on the thier face, on his or her mouth and eyes.
Hang On Every Word
Listen without interruption. Listen as though you were hanging on every word they was saying. Listen as if the they were about to give you the winning lottery number and you would only hear it once. Listen as if this were a million dollar prospect who was just on the verge of giving you a major order. Listen as if there were no one else in the world to whom you would rather listen at this moment than this person, and to what this person is saying.
The Most Important Skill of All
The ability to pay close, uninterrupted attention to a person when he is speaking is the primary listening skill. It seems to be the hardest part to develop and is simultaneously the most important of all. but all it requires is continuous practice and just put the focus on the person, show genuine interest in his or her work/life. you may tend to drift away while you at it for a start, just focus back , after a couple of times, before you knew it, you will already have made it a habit in you, and it will seem effortless for you to execute it. you realize that you will become a like a magnet, people will come to you.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action. First, imagine that your customer, team, colleague, of course not forgeting your boss, is the most fascinating person in the world. Hang on every word as if he was about to place a million dollar order. Lastly, lean forward when they speaks. Nod, smile, agree and be both active and involved, (always speak after they finishes a their sentence, give yourself the 2 second rule! wait 2 seconds before you voice out, so instead of interupting, its becomes a 2 way conversation)
Listening builds relationships. be it in making a sale/servicing a cust/team bonding/friendship/love and connection!
Listening Wins Sales
There are books, articles and multi-day courses on listening. There are audio/video-learning programs that include hours of instruction and a variety of exercises. They are all valuable and helpful, but what they teach can be break down into a fundamental key, and without it, you fall into the category call, " the majority, does everyone who attends a program, seminar comes out being a millionaire?
Well the answer is obviously, no, and one of the main reasons lies in " listening " all you need is to become an excellent listener, and you see how it will lead you to people mastery, and that is the key towards building your T.R.C (Trust respect and care)
this will be helpful for peopel who wants to build a good relationship with thier friends, colleagues, people who are in the front line dealing with customers, people who are in the management level who would like to build the rapport with your team.
after all, your work makes up most of the time of your life, why make it a miserable one? agree :)
Listen Attentively When Others Speak
The best listening skill is to listen attentively. Lean forward; face your cust, prospect, partners directly rather than at an angle. Focus your attention on the thier face, on his or her mouth and eyes.
Hang On Every Word
Listen without interruption. Listen as though you were hanging on every word they was saying. Listen as if the they were about to give you the winning lottery number and you would only hear it once. Listen as if this were a million dollar prospect who was just on the verge of giving you a major order. Listen as if there were no one else in the world to whom you would rather listen at this moment than this person, and to what this person is saying.
The Most Important Skill of All
The ability to pay close, uninterrupted attention to a person when he is speaking is the primary listening skill. It seems to be the hardest part to develop and is simultaneously the most important of all. but all it requires is continuous practice and just put the focus on the person, show genuine interest in his or her work/life. you may tend to drift away while you at it for a start, just focus back , after a couple of times, before you knew it, you will already have made it a habit in you, and it will seem effortless for you to execute it. you realize that you will become a like a magnet, people will come to you.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action. First, imagine that your customer, team, colleague, of course not forgeting your boss, is the most fascinating person in the world. Hang on every word as if he was about to place a million dollar order. Lastly, lean forward when they speaks. Nod, smile, agree and be both active and involved, (always speak after they finishes a their sentence, give yourself the 2 second rule! wait 2 seconds before you voice out, so instead of interupting, its becomes a 2 way conversation)
Listening builds relationships. be it in making a sale/servicing a cust/team bonding/friendship/love and connection!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Anthony robbins - 5 Keys To Thrive
Take a look at one of my mentors personal message, 5 Keys To Thrive, something for you this 2009
i guarantee this is going to turn your lives around !
love li shao
aai family
Monday, July 13, 2009
The 6 Emotional NEEDS in everyone
Hi my friends,
Today, I would like to share a powerful knowlegde that i had learned to help thousands of people to understand themselves, create breakthrough changes in their behaviours (e.g. stop smoking, quit other addictions, resolve internal conflicts, motivate themselves)and reconcile relationship issues.
Have you wondered why it is seems so difficult to change our habitual behaviours? The reason is because our decisions and behaviours are driven by our emotions more than by our logic.Logically, we want to stop smoking or stop over eating, and yet, we still find ourselves repeating the pattern of behaviours. Why do we do this? It is because smoking and over eating meets our emotional needs.
At the same time, we all logically want to have a great relationship with our spouse or friends. And yet, we sometimes find ourselves getting into the same patterns of arguments and conflicts. Again, this is all caused by a mismatch of emotional needs between well-intentioned parties.
To change any kind of behaviour, you must first understand that as human beings, our decisions and actions are almost ALWAYS driven bythe need to meet six human (emotional) needs. This is why wesometimes do things that don't make any sense at all. We do itsimply to meet these 6 human needs (by the way, this was developedby Anthony Robbins). So, what are these 6 human needs?
=======================Human Need 1: Certainty=======================
The first human need is the need for CERTAINTY. We all need to feel a sense of security that things will be okay. Certainty gives us a peace of mind and assurance.
Although we all have the need for CERTAINTY, we use different behavioural strategies to meet this need. For example, when you feel stressed, worried, unsure and uncertain, how do you meet your need for certainty?
Some people use destructive strategies like over-eating, smoking or drinking alcohol. Don't some people do these things to relieve the stress of uncertainty and get into certainty? Others get certainty by controlling other people (becoming a control freak) or by losing their temper. In one episode of Oprah, she interviewed a woman who handled her stress of being sexually abused by creating a multiple personality disorder.
At the same time, there are useful strategies to get certainty. Some people pray/use religion to get that sense of certainty. Some people, adopt empowering beliefs like, ' I know I will get through this' or 'everything happens for a reason' or they simply have faith in themselves. Others get certainty through exercise,meditation or confiding in a friend.So, think about this? How DO you meet your need for certainty? Isit constructive or destructive to you?
=========================Human Need 2: Uncertainty=========================
Now, here is the big paradox! As human beings, we have a second emotional need that is in direct conflict with our first need. We all have a need for UNCERTAINTY!
Think about it. If you had absolute 100% certainty in your life where you knew exactly what was going to happen, when it was going to happen, how it happens, before it happens every single day, how will you feel? You will feel BORED TO DEATH. This is why there are multi millionaires who have all the money and all the possessions in the world, but are depressed! Their life is so certain that they have no more challenges or surprises. No more uncertainty!
This is also why a woman/man in a perfect marriage where everything is routine and predictable will eventually get so bored, that they will unconsciously start picking a fight, having an affair or leave the marriage. There is no more excitement and stimulation that we all need emotionally
So, how do people meet the emotional need of uncertainty (i.e.challenge/surprise/variety) in their lives? Again, some people do destructive things like having an affair, starting arguments,picking up one-night stands, taking drugs, smoking when bored and drinking to get high (yup, smoking and drinking offer both certainty AND uncertainty). Some of us do neutral stuff like watching a movie, playing sports,changing jobs, making new friends or partying. This gives us the stimulation and variety we all need.Some constructive strategies would include taking on new challenges(e.g. going mountain climbing, traveling, starting a business,writing a book). So think about it, how do you meet your need for uncertainty?
==========================Human Need 3:Significance=========================
The third human emotional need is the need to feel significant/special/unique/important/needed. We all hunger for this need and again pursue it in different ways.
Some people feel significant by attaining qualifications (e.g.MBAs, PhDs etc..), achieving success, buying lots of toys (e.g.bigger house, bigger car, country club, Rolex watch etc...) or pursuing status symbols.
Others get significance by putting other people down, dressing in a unique way or tattooing every conceivable part of their body. Again, others feel significance by having children (and making sure they excel and do them proud) or flaunting their wealth. Some people get significance by being proud of certain identities they adopt like being a Christian, a Muslim, an Army Officer, a Vegetarian etc... Many people have asked me why I continue to work so hard and i now working on a few books as well, speak and coach at so many seminars and trains people and help them start up busineses, is it because you like money so much? why do you set i set my goal to achieve my dollar networth by 2010, when i really do not need that much for my lifestyle. The answer is that I am driven to all these things because it makes me feel significant (useful, special, needed) and provides me the uncertainty (challenge & variety) that I crave. It also, gives me the 4th human need, connection and love and the 6th human need,contribution. Again, think about how YOU meet the need to feel significance?
=========================Human Need 4: Love andConnection=============
The 4th human need is in direct conflict with the 3rd human need of SIGNIFICANCE. Think about this. If you felt TOTALLY significantwhere you were so unique, so special and so different from all the people around you. Would you be happy? No! You would feel disconnected from the people around you. One of our strongest needs as humans in the need to be accepted, to be loved and connected to the people around us. Once we become so special and unique, we will start to find ourselves losing that connection to our peers. I can tell you that I feel that way sometimes myself. At times I find it difficult to really be myself, connect with people I meet because people keep expecting me to be this perfect guru in team marketing industry, with all the correct answers.
Have you ever wondered why a superstar like Britney Spears with all the fame, money and talent in the world could end up screwing up her life by engaging in destructive behaviours like drink driving,drug taking that would lead to 2 divorces, losing custody of her children and ending up in a mental institution? My guess is that although she felt total significance, she felt unloved and disconnected from everyone around her.
She probably could not be herself, always having to put up a front and feeling that all the people around her were just using her. Her need for connection and love probably drove her to mix around withthe wrong company (i.e. Paris Hilton) and engaging in destructive behaviours that would get her the love/connection and sympathy she was lacking.
We all need to feel love and connection and again get it throughdifferent means. Some people get connection by getting into arelationship, getting married, making love, joining clubs, playingwith their children, having pets, prayer (connection to God) or hanging out with friends.
Sometimes, people even 'try' to get love and connection byself-abuse and falling sick (studies show 90% of all illnesses are psychosomatic). This gives them the sudden outpour of sympathy and love that they yearn for. How do you get love and connection in your life?
If Your Relationship is Not Happy, Here's Why...
I have found after working with many couples that whenever a marriage breaks down, it is always because partners are not meeting each others emotional needs. A man (or woman) often wants to leave the marriage either because he/she no longer feels significant, loved, certainty or uncertainty by his/her partner. What is a very very common scenario is that after a couple has a child, the man no longer feels the same levelof significance anymore. It seems that his wife spends all the timewith the kids, that he is no longer important. So what happens? Herather spend his time in the office where he feels more significant or find a girlfriend who makes him feel special again!
So, here is a point of reflection. How well are you meeting your partner's emotional needs?
If Your Staff Are Leaving Your Company, Here's Why...As a boss of my own company and a person who trains my partners and our sub companies in bringing put the best in our partners and aai world companies family, I have found that your staff will only be happy and motivated to give their best when they feel significant (they are praised often and recognized), certainty(sense of security of their future in the company), uncertainty(their jobs gives them variety and challenge) as well as connection(they love the people they work with and have a sense of belonging, Ownership, where if you are an employees, this need is alwayd left unmet).
================Discover the the opportunity that will skyrocket you towards financial success. www.aaiworldcompanies.com=================================
Similarly people leave a company not only for monetary reasons. They leave when they feel a lack of security (certainty), lack of challenge (uncertainty), lack of connection (they hate the people)or a lack of significance (unappreciated).
Reflection: if you are a boss/team leader, are you meeting your staff's/colleagues emotional needs to bring out the best in them?
If You Have An Addiction that You Cannot Change, Here's Why...
Finally, I have found that if you have a negative behaviour that you find hard to change, it is only because it is being used to meet two or more of your emotional needs. For example, if you find yourself constantly losing your temper, it is because it gives you a sense of significance and certainty.
If you find it difficult to stop smoking, it is probably it meets your needs for certainty (relaxes and de-stresses you), uncertainty(smoke when you feel bored), connection (especially if you smoke with friends to 'fit in') and significance (makes you look 'cool').Often, when a behaviour meets more than 2 needs, it becomes an ADDICTION.
In my Strategies of excellence programs, i show my partners how to break limiting patterns of behaviours by first finding an alternative way to meet their needs. If you do not find a new useful alternative behaviour to replace it, you will find yourself going back to the old habit/addiction.
reccomendation resources
Adam khoo - design your life, master your destiny
Anthony robbins - unlimited power, unleash the giant within
=============The Last Two Human Needs: Growth and Contribution===========
You are probably wondering what the last two human emotional needs are. Understand that the first four needs MUST be met by usconstantly. It is what drives our daily behaviours. However, to be truly fulfilled and happy, we need to meet the last two needs of 'growth' and 'contribution'. We need to constantly grow by learning more and challenging ourselves to become better. The moment we stop growing, we start dying emotionally.
Finally, we all need to contribute beyond ourselves, This is why people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett make all the money in the world only to give most of it away to charity. contribution is what gives us ultimate purpose and fulfillment in life.
Live your dreams, Take massive action
The Miracles Makers
Love Andrew Tan
I also coach with Adam khoo and here are the program that i have personally benefitted and now coaches people who come and attend the programs.
Patterns Of Excellence----------------------Discover These Easy Habits That Only The TOP 1% Of Individuals In The World Use To Become Extremely Rich, Successful, And Happy In Life:http://www.Patterns-Of-Excellence.com
Paving The Way To The Top-------------------------
Discover The 6 Simple Steps That Pushed Me To Make My First Million in less than 5 years: http://www.PavingTheWayToTheTop.com
Millionaire Book----------------How A Juvenile Misfit Who Got Kicked Out Of School Became A Millionaire And Now Earns $549,078.40 A Year:http://www.Millionaire-Book.com
Success With NLP----------------Discover the secret that transformed a hopeless underachieverinto a millionaire at just age 26... And how YOU can use this same secret to achieve success in your life:http://www.SuccessWithNLP.com
Secrets Of Millionaire Investors--------------------------------How A Former BANKRUPT Discovered The Secret Strategies ToSuccessful Options Trading And Now Makes Up to $22,368.60 A Month From The Comfort Of His Own Home!http://www.SecretsOfMillionaireInvestors.com
Secrets Of Building Multi-Million Dollar Businesses-----------------------------------------------------How To Take An Idea From Startup To A Million Dollars In 18 Months Flat... With Little Or NO Capital Required!www.MultiMillionBusinesses.com
Nurture The Winner & Genius In Your Child-----------------------------------------Discover How To Transform The Way You Communicate With Your Children And Nurture The Winner & Genius In Them!http://www.ChildWinner.com
Profit From The Panic---------------------How To Make Your Fortune From The Worst Financial Crisis Since The Great Depression!www.ProfitFromThePanic.com
Today, I would like to share a powerful knowlegde that i had learned to help thousands of people to understand themselves, create breakthrough changes in their behaviours (e.g. stop smoking, quit other addictions, resolve internal conflicts, motivate themselves)and reconcile relationship issues.
Have you wondered why it is seems so difficult to change our habitual behaviours? The reason is because our decisions and behaviours are driven by our emotions more than by our logic.Logically, we want to stop smoking or stop over eating, and yet, we still find ourselves repeating the pattern of behaviours. Why do we do this? It is because smoking and over eating meets our emotional needs.
At the same time, we all logically want to have a great relationship with our spouse or friends. And yet, we sometimes find ourselves getting into the same patterns of arguments and conflicts. Again, this is all caused by a mismatch of emotional needs between well-intentioned parties.
To change any kind of behaviour, you must first understand that as human beings, our decisions and actions are almost ALWAYS driven bythe need to meet six human (emotional) needs. This is why wesometimes do things that don't make any sense at all. We do itsimply to meet these 6 human needs (by the way, this was developedby Anthony Robbins). So, what are these 6 human needs?
=======================Human Need 1: Certainty=======================
The first human need is the need for CERTAINTY. We all need to feel a sense of security that things will be okay. Certainty gives us a peace of mind and assurance.
Although we all have the need for CERTAINTY, we use different behavioural strategies to meet this need. For example, when you feel stressed, worried, unsure and uncertain, how do you meet your need for certainty?
Some people use destructive strategies like over-eating, smoking or drinking alcohol. Don't some people do these things to relieve the stress of uncertainty and get into certainty? Others get certainty by controlling other people (becoming a control freak) or by losing their temper. In one episode of Oprah, she interviewed a woman who handled her stress of being sexually abused by creating a multiple personality disorder.
At the same time, there are useful strategies to get certainty. Some people pray/use religion to get that sense of certainty. Some people, adopt empowering beliefs like, ' I know I will get through this' or 'everything happens for a reason' or they simply have faith in themselves. Others get certainty through exercise,meditation or confiding in a friend.So, think about this? How DO you meet your need for certainty? Isit constructive or destructive to you?
=========================Human Need 2: Uncertainty=========================
Now, here is the big paradox! As human beings, we have a second emotional need that is in direct conflict with our first need. We all have a need for UNCERTAINTY!
Think about it. If you had absolute 100% certainty in your life where you knew exactly what was going to happen, when it was going to happen, how it happens, before it happens every single day, how will you feel? You will feel BORED TO DEATH. This is why there are multi millionaires who have all the money and all the possessions in the world, but are depressed! Their life is so certain that they have no more challenges or surprises. No more uncertainty!
This is also why a woman/man in a perfect marriage where everything is routine and predictable will eventually get so bored, that they will unconsciously start picking a fight, having an affair or leave the marriage. There is no more excitement and stimulation that we all need emotionally
So, how do people meet the emotional need of uncertainty (i.e.challenge/surprise/variety) in their lives? Again, some people do destructive things like having an affair, starting arguments,picking up one-night stands, taking drugs, smoking when bored and drinking to get high (yup, smoking and drinking offer both certainty AND uncertainty). Some of us do neutral stuff like watching a movie, playing sports,changing jobs, making new friends or partying. This gives us the stimulation and variety we all need.Some constructive strategies would include taking on new challenges(e.g. going mountain climbing, traveling, starting a business,writing a book). So think about it, how do you meet your need for uncertainty?
==========================Human Need 3:Significance=========================
The third human emotional need is the need to feel significant/special/unique/important/needed. We all hunger for this need and again pursue it in different ways.
Some people feel significant by attaining qualifications (e.g.MBAs, PhDs etc..), achieving success, buying lots of toys (e.g.bigger house, bigger car, country club, Rolex watch etc...) or pursuing status symbols.
Others get significance by putting other people down, dressing in a unique way or tattooing every conceivable part of their body. Again, others feel significance by having children (and making sure they excel and do them proud) or flaunting their wealth. Some people get significance by being proud of certain identities they adopt like being a Christian, a Muslim, an Army Officer, a Vegetarian etc... Many people have asked me why I continue to work so hard and i now working on a few books as well, speak and coach at so many seminars and trains people and help them start up busineses, is it because you like money so much? why do you set i set my goal to achieve my dollar networth by 2010, when i really do not need that much for my lifestyle. The answer is that I am driven to all these things because it makes me feel significant (useful, special, needed) and provides me the uncertainty (challenge & variety) that I crave. It also, gives me the 4th human need, connection and love and the 6th human need,contribution. Again, think about how YOU meet the need to feel significance?
=========================Human Need 4: Love andConnection=============
The 4th human need is in direct conflict with the 3rd human need of SIGNIFICANCE. Think about this. If you felt TOTALLY significantwhere you were so unique, so special and so different from all the people around you. Would you be happy? No! You would feel disconnected from the people around you. One of our strongest needs as humans in the need to be accepted, to be loved and connected to the people around us. Once we become so special and unique, we will start to find ourselves losing that connection to our peers. I can tell you that I feel that way sometimes myself. At times I find it difficult to really be myself, connect with people I meet because people keep expecting me to be this perfect guru in team marketing industry, with all the correct answers.
Have you ever wondered why a superstar like Britney Spears with all the fame, money and talent in the world could end up screwing up her life by engaging in destructive behaviours like drink driving,drug taking that would lead to 2 divorces, losing custody of her children and ending up in a mental institution? My guess is that although she felt total significance, she felt unloved and disconnected from everyone around her.
She probably could not be herself, always having to put up a front and feeling that all the people around her were just using her. Her need for connection and love probably drove her to mix around withthe wrong company (i.e. Paris Hilton) and engaging in destructive behaviours that would get her the love/connection and sympathy she was lacking.
We all need to feel love and connection and again get it throughdifferent means. Some people get connection by getting into arelationship, getting married, making love, joining clubs, playingwith their children, having pets, prayer (connection to God) or hanging out with friends.
Sometimes, people even 'try' to get love and connection byself-abuse and falling sick (studies show 90% of all illnesses are psychosomatic). This gives them the sudden outpour of sympathy and love that they yearn for. How do you get love and connection in your life?
If Your Relationship is Not Happy, Here's Why...
I have found after working with many couples that whenever a marriage breaks down, it is always because partners are not meeting each others emotional needs. A man (or woman) often wants to leave the marriage either because he/she no longer feels significant, loved, certainty or uncertainty by his/her partner. What is a very very common scenario is that after a couple has a child, the man no longer feels the same levelof significance anymore. It seems that his wife spends all the timewith the kids, that he is no longer important. So what happens? Herather spend his time in the office where he feels more significant or find a girlfriend who makes him feel special again!
So, here is a point of reflection. How well are you meeting your partner's emotional needs?
If Your Staff Are Leaving Your Company, Here's Why...As a boss of my own company and a person who trains my partners and our sub companies in bringing put the best in our partners and aai world companies family, I have found that your staff will only be happy and motivated to give their best when they feel significant (they are praised often and recognized), certainty(sense of security of their future in the company), uncertainty(their jobs gives them variety and challenge) as well as connection(they love the people they work with and have a sense of belonging, Ownership, where if you are an employees, this need is alwayd left unmet).
================Discover the the opportunity that will skyrocket you towards financial success. www.aaiworldcompanies.com=================================
Similarly people leave a company not only for monetary reasons. They leave when they feel a lack of security (certainty), lack of challenge (uncertainty), lack of connection (they hate the people)or a lack of significance (unappreciated).
Reflection: if you are a boss/team leader, are you meeting your staff's/colleagues emotional needs to bring out the best in them?
If You Have An Addiction that You Cannot Change, Here's Why...
Finally, I have found that if you have a negative behaviour that you find hard to change, it is only because it is being used to meet two or more of your emotional needs. For example, if you find yourself constantly losing your temper, it is because it gives you a sense of significance and certainty.
If you find it difficult to stop smoking, it is probably it meets your needs for certainty (relaxes and de-stresses you), uncertainty(smoke when you feel bored), connection (especially if you smoke with friends to 'fit in') and significance (makes you look 'cool').Often, when a behaviour meets more than 2 needs, it becomes an ADDICTION.
In my Strategies of excellence programs, i show my partners how to break limiting patterns of behaviours by first finding an alternative way to meet their needs. If you do not find a new useful alternative behaviour to replace it, you will find yourself going back to the old habit/addiction.
reccomendation resources
Adam khoo - design your life, master your destiny
Anthony robbins - unlimited power, unleash the giant within
=============The Last Two Human Needs: Growth and Contribution===========
You are probably wondering what the last two human emotional needs are. Understand that the first four needs MUST be met by usconstantly. It is what drives our daily behaviours. However, to be truly fulfilled and happy, we need to meet the last two needs of 'growth' and 'contribution'. We need to constantly grow by learning more and challenging ourselves to become better. The moment we stop growing, we start dying emotionally.
Finally, we all need to contribute beyond ourselves, This is why people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett make all the money in the world only to give most of it away to charity. contribution is what gives us ultimate purpose and fulfillment in life.
Live your dreams, Take massive action
The Miracles Makers
Love Andrew Tan
I also coach with Adam khoo and here are the program that i have personally benefitted and now coaches people who come and attend the programs.
Patterns Of Excellence----------------------Discover These Easy Habits That Only The TOP 1% Of Individuals In The World Use To Become Extremely Rich, Successful, And Happy In Life:http://www.Patterns-Of-Excellence.com
Paving The Way To The Top-------------------------
Discover The 6 Simple Steps That Pushed Me To Make My First Million in less than 5 years: http://www.PavingTheWayToTheTop.com
Millionaire Book----------------How A Juvenile Misfit Who Got Kicked Out Of School Became A Millionaire And Now Earns $549,078.40 A Year:http://www.Millionaire-Book.com
Success With NLP----------------Discover the secret that transformed a hopeless underachieverinto a millionaire at just age 26... And how YOU can use this same secret to achieve success in your life:http://www.SuccessWithNLP.com
Secrets Of Millionaire Investors--------------------------------How A Former BANKRUPT Discovered The Secret Strategies ToSuccessful Options Trading And Now Makes Up to $22,368.60 A Month From The Comfort Of His Own Home!http://www.SecretsOfMillionaireInvestors.com
Secrets Of Building Multi-Million Dollar Businesses-----------------------------------------------------How To Take An Idea From Startup To A Million Dollars In 18 Months Flat... With Little Or NO Capital Required!www.MultiMillionBusinesses.com
Nurture The Winner & Genius In Your Child-----------------------------------------Discover How To Transform The Way You Communicate With Your Children And Nurture The Winner & Genius In Them!http://www.ChildWinner.com
Profit From The Panic---------------------How To Make Your Fortune From The Worst Financial Crisis Since The Great Depression!www.ProfitFromThePanic.com
Thursday, June 4, 2009
My friends, It Ain't How Hard You Hit... It's How Hard You Get Hit And Keep Moving Forward!
Hi,
It was about 15 years ago when I watched my first ROCKY movie(Rocky I) on tv and it really inspired me to get up from defeat and to train hard to become a winner in life.
Today, 15 years later, I find myself being inspired once again by Sylvester Stallone's latest Rocky Movie (Rocky Balboa- part 6). In this latest movie, Rocky is aged 60+ and retired from boxing. One day, Rocky decides to come out of retirement and to get back intothe ring. He feels the need to fight because of emotional issues that he needs to resolve within himself. Naturally, he is criticized and made fun of because he is fighting opponents half his age.
His son (a corporate executive in his 30s) is totally against the idea. His career is going no where and he blames his father for casting a big shadow over him. His friends make fun of him because of who his father is.
This is where the 60-year old Rocky gives his son a heart-to-heart reprimand about how he needs to stop blaming and take charge of his life. A saddened Rocky says he remembers when his son could fit in the palm of his hand.
He says that he saw great potential in him and when he first started off in life, he did great. However,at some point, he changed. He lost his way and started blaming other things and people for his own misfortune. Telling him:
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain't about how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. . It's How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.
Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers and blame other people. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"
This movie had a huge impact on me just like the first few Rocky movies did because what was said was so true in my own life. " Its not how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
Over the years, i found out that in my life, I have met so many people who were much smarter, talented and luckier than me. What made me more successful at the end of the day was my ability to get hit again and again and to keep moving forward. I never gave up. However, I know of many friends who got hit hard by life and could never find the courage to get up again. Instead, they quit dreaming and accepted a mediocre life.
There are so many people i come across thru my coaching programs and i seen this scene happen again and again, and everytime i feel very sad as i can see what is really happening to them. I truly hope to help them to get back up! and always waiting. The journey may be tough but its never lonely! The price to live a mediocre life is too high to pay, you used your whole life to pay for it.
There were many times in my life when I did get hit hard and felt that I had problems I could never solve. There were times when I felt that life was unfair and too painful to live. What kept me going forward was that I knew that no matter how bad, every problem will not last forever. Every recession will end. Dawn always breaks after the darkest hour. It was this belief that allowed me to keep getting up.
* I remember for 5 years, i was teased at, laugh at everyday in school during my pri school days, when my form teacher ( for a straight 5 years, teaching our class all subjects including P.E except chinese) would order me to come to the black board, turn around, lift up my shirt and show the class how fat i was! and after which he will also pinched me and i will everytime somehow end up crying, i didnt knew why, everytime i tell myself not to cry, but its always just happen, was it the pain or wat? come to think of it today, maybe it was the humilation and the hurting of the ego. But its didnt affect me too much and, I kept moving forward
* When everyone looked down on me because I got poor grades in school, I kept moving forward
* When I was framed and charged during my ns police time for absent without a mc, I kept moving forward
* When i was in the tour industry and lost $ 2500 in cash due to my neligence, i kept moving forward
* When i was sue my a company because of resigning without notice, i kept moving forward
* When my business team of 150 people, was left to 1 , myself, i kept moving forward
* When i lost all my business, lost all the trust from the people whom i treated as my family, and could not tell them the truth because i had to protect thier welfare because i was cheated by someone i trusted, i kept moving forward
Whenever we see people achieve great things, it is easy to think that they had less problems and less obstacles than we have. That their brilliance, luck or talent gave them super human abilities to sail through life easily. That everything always goes according to plan.
I can tell you from experience that things NEVER EVER always go according to plan. 80% of the goals you set and plans you make will never go the way you want. Things will screw up and obstacles will appear that will knock you down. Its all part of the game of life.
My good friend Adam khoo too didnt came by because he had a rich dad!
When he got expelled from school at age 9, he kept moving forward
When his parents split up when he was aged 13, he kept moving forward
When his first girlfriend dumped him just before his major exams(and was subsequently dumped by 2 other girls) he kept movingforward
When everyone looked down on him because he got poor grades inschool, he kept moving forward
When his interior design business went bankrupt (Losing $250,000), he kept moving forward
When he lost over $300,000 in the stock market as an early amateur investor, he kept moving forward When his first book, 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!' was rejected byover 9 publishers, he kept moving forward
When only 1 person signed up for my first Patterns of Excellenceprogram 7.5 years ago, and everyone thought that his company would never make it, he kept moving forward
When he lost all the money he made from his event management business because he too was cheated by someone he trusted, he kept moving forward
Have you heard of George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars? On the surface, it seems this guy could do not wrong. He had the genius to create one of the most successful franchises in the world, StarWars that made hundreds of millions of dollars.
Did you know of all the things that went wrong? When George Lucas had the vision of creating the special effects for the battle scenes, the technology did not exist at the time. That didn't stop Lucas. He set up a company, Industrial Light & Magic to invent and create the special effects needed to make Star Wars
.Did it work? Not at first. During production, everything that could have possibly gone wrong went wrong! At the end of sixteen weeks of filming, everyone had every reason to believe it would fail.
The equipment kept breaking down, the actors could not get along and everything that was filmed turned out lousy and had to be discarded . The movie had grossly exceeded the initial budget, it had overrun the filming schedule, the special effects unit could not create the desired special effects and everyone had the opinion that the movie was too childish.
As a result, 20th Century Fox studios (the producers) wanted to cancel the movie and fire Lucas. After Lucas begged for a chance to save the movie, they gave him three days to finish two weeks of work that was lost. It seemed like an impossible task.
What made things worse was that Lucas suffered severe chest pains in the middle of all this and was rushed to hospital for severe stress and exhaustion. Everyone thought that the movie would fail(even some of the actors didn't dare to go for the premier).
But Lucas just wouldn't quit. Lucas hired a triple filming crew,divided the film stage into three sets and directed three scenes concurrently! Within 3 days, he filmed weeks worth of scenes and finished the movie only moments before the movie premier. The rest was history
I am sure you have heard of Honda Motor Corporation, one of the most successful automakers from Japan. Again what made Honda a success was that its founder, Soichiro Honda was able to take the hardest hits and still get up and move forward.
In 1938, while Soichiro was still in school, when he started a workshop to develop the piston ring that he hoped he could sell toToyota. He worked 7 days a week, even sleeping in his workshop at times. When money ran out with no success, he pawned his wife's jewelry for working capital.
Finally, came the day he completed his piston ring and was able to sell it to Toyota. However, he was told that the rings did not meet their standards! Soichiro went back to school for 2 years to improve his invention only to suffer ridicule when the engineers saw his design.
He refused to quit. After two more years of struggle and improvement, he successful won the contract with Toyota. He needed to build a factory to supply Toyota. Unfortunately, his timing was bad. At this time, the Japanese government was gearing up for war and needed all the concrete for the war effort, so he could not get the concrete necessary to build his factory. Instead of giving up, he invented a new concrete-making process that enabled him to build the factory.
With the factory now built,he was ready for production, but again, his luck was bad. His factory was bombed twice by American war planes and steel became unavailable, too.
Instead of giving up, he started collecting surplus gasoline cans discarded by US fighters - "Gifts from President Truman," he called them, which became the new raw materials for his rebuilt manufacturing process. Again, his timing was bad. An earthquake hit and his factory was destroyed the third time.
After the war, an extreme gasoline shortage forced people to walk or use bicycles. Soichiro saw this opportunity and built a tiny engine and attached it to his bicycle. His neighbors wanted one,and although he tried, materials could not be found and he was unable to supply the demand. He also didn't have the money to build another factory to make these 'motorbikes'. He still didn't quit. he wrote letters to 18,000 bicycles shopowners and asked them to pay him in advanced so he could build his factory to sell them his newly invented motorbikes.
Unfortunately,the first models were too bulky to work well, so he continued to develop and adapt, until finally, 'The Super Cub' became a success and took Japan by storm. With success in Japan, Honda began exporting his bicycle engines to Europe and America.
This was how the Honda Motor Corporation was formed. Was that the end of his problems? Nope! As he ran Honda, it went into lots of financial problems. Honda also went near to bankruptcy five times,only to be turned around just in time. Everytime he took a hit,Soichiro would just get up, learn from his mistakes and keep moving forward.
Today, Honda Corporation employs over 100,000 people in the USA and Japan, and is one of the world's largest automobile companies. Honda's excellent engineering and clever marketing even resulted in Honda motorcycles out-selling Triumph and Harley-Davidson in the irrespective home markets.
So, the greater the success you want in life, the bigger the hits you got to be willing to take. There is a price for everything. A Suzuki costs $30,000 and a Ferrari costs $1m. Success too has a price. The price is massive rejection,frustration, and hard work, People never succeed either because they thought that success comes easy or because they are not willing topay the price!
Live your dreams, Take massive action
The Miracles Makers
Love Andrew Tan
What do you think? Share your thoughts and comments on my blog:=> Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them!
It was about 15 years ago when I watched my first ROCKY movie(Rocky I) on tv and it really inspired me to get up from defeat and to train hard to become a winner in life.
Today, 15 years later, I find myself being inspired once again by Sylvester Stallone's latest Rocky Movie (Rocky Balboa- part 6). In this latest movie, Rocky is aged 60+ and retired from boxing. One day, Rocky decides to come out of retirement and to get back intothe ring. He feels the need to fight because of emotional issues that he needs to resolve within himself. Naturally, he is criticized and made fun of because he is fighting opponents half his age.
His son (a corporate executive in his 30s) is totally against the idea. His career is going no where and he blames his father for casting a big shadow over him. His friends make fun of him because of who his father is.
This is where the 60-year old Rocky gives his son a heart-to-heart reprimand about how he needs to stop blaming and take charge of his life. A saddened Rocky says he remembers when his son could fit in the palm of his hand.
He says that he saw great potential in him and when he first started off in life, he did great. However,at some point, he changed. He lost his way and started blaming other things and people for his own misfortune. Telling him:
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain't about how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. . It's How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.
Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers and blame other people. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"
This movie had a huge impact on me just like the first few Rocky movies did because what was said was so true in my own life. " Its not how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
Over the years, i found out that in my life, I have met so many people who were much smarter, talented and luckier than me. What made me more successful at the end of the day was my ability to get hit again and again and to keep moving forward. I never gave up. However, I know of many friends who got hit hard by life and could never find the courage to get up again. Instead, they quit dreaming and accepted a mediocre life.
There are so many people i come across thru my coaching programs and i seen this scene happen again and again, and everytime i feel very sad as i can see what is really happening to them. I truly hope to help them to get back up! and always waiting. The journey may be tough but its never lonely! The price to live a mediocre life is too high to pay, you used your whole life to pay for it.
There were many times in my life when I did get hit hard and felt that I had problems I could never solve. There were times when I felt that life was unfair and too painful to live. What kept me going forward was that I knew that no matter how bad, every problem will not last forever. Every recession will end. Dawn always breaks after the darkest hour. It was this belief that allowed me to keep getting up.
* I remember for 5 years, i was teased at, laugh at everyday in school during my pri school days, when my form teacher ( for a straight 5 years, teaching our class all subjects including P.E except chinese) would order me to come to the black board, turn around, lift up my shirt and show the class how fat i was! and after which he will also pinched me and i will everytime somehow end up crying, i didnt knew why, everytime i tell myself not to cry, but its always just happen, was it the pain or wat? come to think of it today, maybe it was the humilation and the hurting of the ego. But its didnt affect me too much and, I kept moving forward
* When everyone looked down on me because I got poor grades in school, I kept moving forward
* When I was framed and charged during my ns police time for absent without a mc, I kept moving forward
* When i was in the tour industry and lost $ 2500 in cash due to my neligence, i kept moving forward
* When i was sue my a company because of resigning without notice, i kept moving forward
* When my business team of 150 people, was left to 1 , myself, i kept moving forward
* When i lost all my business, lost all the trust from the people whom i treated as my family, and could not tell them the truth because i had to protect thier welfare because i was cheated by someone i trusted, i kept moving forward
Whenever we see people achieve great things, it is easy to think that they had less problems and less obstacles than we have. That their brilliance, luck or talent gave them super human abilities to sail through life easily. That everything always goes according to plan.
I can tell you from experience that things NEVER EVER always go according to plan. 80% of the goals you set and plans you make will never go the way you want. Things will screw up and obstacles will appear that will knock you down. Its all part of the game of life.
My good friend Adam khoo too didnt came by because he had a rich dad!
When he got expelled from school at age 9, he kept moving forward
When his parents split up when he was aged 13, he kept moving forward
When his first girlfriend dumped him just before his major exams(and was subsequently dumped by 2 other girls) he kept movingforward
When everyone looked down on him because he got poor grades inschool, he kept moving forward
When his interior design business went bankrupt (Losing $250,000), he kept moving forward
When he lost over $300,000 in the stock market as an early amateur investor, he kept moving forward When his first book, 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!' was rejected byover 9 publishers, he kept moving forward
When only 1 person signed up for my first Patterns of Excellenceprogram 7.5 years ago, and everyone thought that his company would never make it, he kept moving forward
When he lost all the money he made from his event management business because he too was cheated by someone he trusted, he kept moving forward
Have you heard of George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars? On the surface, it seems this guy could do not wrong. He had the genius to create one of the most successful franchises in the world, StarWars that made hundreds of millions of dollars.
Did you know of all the things that went wrong? When George Lucas had the vision of creating the special effects for the battle scenes, the technology did not exist at the time. That didn't stop Lucas. He set up a company, Industrial Light & Magic to invent and create the special effects needed to make Star Wars
.Did it work? Not at first. During production, everything that could have possibly gone wrong went wrong! At the end of sixteen weeks of filming, everyone had every reason to believe it would fail.
The equipment kept breaking down, the actors could not get along and everything that was filmed turned out lousy and had to be discarded . The movie had grossly exceeded the initial budget, it had overrun the filming schedule, the special effects unit could not create the desired special effects and everyone had the opinion that the movie was too childish.
As a result, 20th Century Fox studios (the producers) wanted to cancel the movie and fire Lucas. After Lucas begged for a chance to save the movie, they gave him three days to finish two weeks of work that was lost. It seemed like an impossible task.
What made things worse was that Lucas suffered severe chest pains in the middle of all this and was rushed to hospital for severe stress and exhaustion. Everyone thought that the movie would fail(even some of the actors didn't dare to go for the premier).
But Lucas just wouldn't quit. Lucas hired a triple filming crew,divided the film stage into three sets and directed three scenes concurrently! Within 3 days, he filmed weeks worth of scenes and finished the movie only moments before the movie premier. The rest was history
I am sure you have heard of Honda Motor Corporation, one of the most successful automakers from Japan. Again what made Honda a success was that its founder, Soichiro Honda was able to take the hardest hits and still get up and move forward.
In 1938, while Soichiro was still in school, when he started a workshop to develop the piston ring that he hoped he could sell toToyota. He worked 7 days a week, even sleeping in his workshop at times. When money ran out with no success, he pawned his wife's jewelry for working capital.
Finally, came the day he completed his piston ring and was able to sell it to Toyota. However, he was told that the rings did not meet their standards! Soichiro went back to school for 2 years to improve his invention only to suffer ridicule when the engineers saw his design.
He refused to quit. After two more years of struggle and improvement, he successful won the contract with Toyota. He needed to build a factory to supply Toyota. Unfortunately, his timing was bad. At this time, the Japanese government was gearing up for war and needed all the concrete for the war effort, so he could not get the concrete necessary to build his factory. Instead of giving up, he invented a new concrete-making process that enabled him to build the factory.
With the factory now built,he was ready for production, but again, his luck was bad. His factory was bombed twice by American war planes and steel became unavailable, too.
Instead of giving up, he started collecting surplus gasoline cans discarded by US fighters - "Gifts from President Truman," he called them, which became the new raw materials for his rebuilt manufacturing process. Again, his timing was bad. An earthquake hit and his factory was destroyed the third time.
After the war, an extreme gasoline shortage forced people to walk or use bicycles. Soichiro saw this opportunity and built a tiny engine and attached it to his bicycle. His neighbors wanted one,and although he tried, materials could not be found and he was unable to supply the demand. He also didn't have the money to build another factory to make these 'motorbikes'. He still didn't quit. he wrote letters to 18,000 bicycles shopowners and asked them to pay him in advanced so he could build his factory to sell them his newly invented motorbikes.
Unfortunately,the first models were too bulky to work well, so he continued to develop and adapt, until finally, 'The Super Cub' became a success and took Japan by storm. With success in Japan, Honda began exporting his bicycle engines to Europe and America.
This was how the Honda Motor Corporation was formed. Was that the end of his problems? Nope! As he ran Honda, it went into lots of financial problems. Honda also went near to bankruptcy five times,only to be turned around just in time. Everytime he took a hit,Soichiro would just get up, learn from his mistakes and keep moving forward.
Today, Honda Corporation employs over 100,000 people in the USA and Japan, and is one of the world's largest automobile companies. Honda's excellent engineering and clever marketing even resulted in Honda motorcycles out-selling Triumph and Harley-Davidson in the irrespective home markets.
So, the greater the success you want in life, the bigger the hits you got to be willing to take. There is a price for everything. A Suzuki costs $30,000 and a Ferrari costs $1m. Success too has a price. The price is massive rejection,frustration, and hard work, People never succeed either because they thought that success comes easy or because they are not willing topay the price!
Live your dreams, Take massive action
The Miracles Makers
Love Andrew Tan
What do you think? Share your thoughts and comments on my blog:=> Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Loving the most important person in your life!
Hi my friends, I got this interesting and meaningful mail from Adam, (Adam khoo)
I'm sure that there are lots of things that you really love. You may love your parents, your husband/wife, your girlfriend/boyfriend and your children. You may love your car, your home or even your new mobile phone.
But let me ask you a question that may seem really weird, 'do you love yourself?' Do you love that person you see in the mirror everyday? If you find that you have many things in life to be grateful for but are still not happy with, the reason may be because you have not learnt to love yourself. In order to be HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL, you have to start by lovingyourself. The reason why many people feel lousy about themselves and fail to achieve is because they don't like who they are. Many people think that they must first become successful before they start loving themselves and their life. In fact, the opposite is true. You must first love yourself before you can become successful. People who love and feel good abut themselves have what is called HIGH SELF-ESTEEM
The Most Important Person In Your Life Is
Let me give you the most important reason why you should love yourself. Imagine that there was someone whom you have to spend the rest of your life with. You had to spend every minute of every day with this person, day in and day out. This person is the first you see when you wake up in the morning and the last person you see when you go to sleep. This person is there on all your life's special occasions: your birthday, Christmas, New Year, your wedding and finally, your funeral. This person is there during all of your life's ups and downs. This person shares your sorrows and your joys. When you are down, only this person can cheer you up. When you fall, only this person can pick you up. When you set a goal, only this person can give you the motivation and confidence to achieve it. This person will never leave you and is the only one you can truly depend on. If you didn't like this person, wouldn't your life be absolutely miserable? You'd be forever stuck to a person you didn't like. You wouldn't be able to do anything! I am sure you can guess that this person is YOU!
YOU are the most important person in your own life.
--------------------The Power of Loving Yourself-------------------
When you really love someone, you always want the very best for him or her, right? You would do anything for them. You would make sacrifices for them and defend them if anyone speaks badly of them. The same thing goes when you love yourself. When you love yourself, you will want the very best for yourself. You would not accept anything less than the best for yourself. You will want the best relationships, the best career, the best partner and the best home. You will not accept being in an abusive relationship. You will not accept being stuck in a job you hate. You will not accept a mediocre life that is going nowhere. In other words, those who love themselves dream big and set high standards for themselves. At the same time, you would be willing to work hard and make sacrifices for yourself. You will be willing to sacrifice the effort to go to the gym, to read a self-improvement book and to avoid unhealthy foods that are bad for you.
When You Like Yourself, People Will Start to Like You
When I talk about loving yourself, I am not talking about being an arrogant, egotistical braggart who looks at your self every ten minutes and boastfully says, 'I am the greatest'. Nobody likes people like that! In fact, people who really love themselves never boast or show off! They don't need to. They already feel good about themselves inside. When you like yourself, you will feel good about yourself. You will have the confidence to take on challenges, make friends and beoutgoing. You will smile alot and talk positively about yourself and others. People who feel good about themselves see the good in others and give them sincere encouragement and praise. This confidence and positive attitude will make you really charming and attractive to others. People will start to admire and respect you. People love being around positive people because it makes themfeel good as well.
-----------------------------------------------What Happens When You Don't Love Yourself
On the other hand, people who hate themselves tend to remain unhappy and unsuccessful. When you don't like yourself, you tend to put yourself down, think negatively of yourself and set low personal standards. Over the years i met and coach alot of people, from teens to working professionals, I remember asking one of my friends Steve, whom i was helping him setting up his business, halfway in the business, he did not see the results he wanted and was leaving everything to a stop. I finally got to him and ask him what he was aiming to go for in life?
He said, ' I don't know, see lor. ' 'at that time i said, you got to have a plan, if not you will fall into other people`s plan, With a goal, to achieve some level of financial security, to learn skills to value add to yourself, you can truly get out of your job(which he truly did not like) and live a more comfortable life. You can get success, respect and more money, most importantly time" I said. He replied, 'who cares?'
At the time, I couldn't understand why steve would not care about his own future. Later I realized it was because Steve did not like himself very much. In his mind, he did not think he deserved a great life. Its like a game of tennis, when he was playing with people who were the same level as he is, he feel good, after some time, he got a chance to play with people who were way better then him, Initially, he learned and work very hard, the process was fun, and then its comes a stage where he starts to feel that he can never catch up with them, thier level are just too way up there, the gap is too far... and many reasons and excuses came on why he should not play with them, " i will drag them down, i`m not cut for it, etc
When actually the real reason is, he was experiencing stress...
and stress is naturally there for you to improve.
Will you become better if you continue playing with people who were a higher level if you want to improve your game?
Your life is just like a game, some played it good, MOST play it miserably, but why? what do the most do when they are give a opportunity to become like the 20% (who were more successful in life) ?
So what does most people do? they go back and play with people who were a level below themselves, and they feel great ! its good to feel great, but you are not getting your desired outcome! to become better in the game, to become better in your game of life, to Live your dreams!
Steve, deep down in his heart, he believed that only other people who were better deserved such a successful life.
So, begin the journey of success and happiness by first loving yourself!
Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them!
Love andrew tan
I'm sure that there are lots of things that you really love. You may love your parents, your husband/wife, your girlfriend/boyfriend and your children. You may love your car, your home or even your new mobile phone.
But let me ask you a question that may seem really weird, 'do you love yourself?' Do you love that person you see in the mirror everyday? If you find that you have many things in life to be grateful for but are still not happy with, the reason may be because you have not learnt to love yourself. In order to be HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL, you have to start by lovingyourself. The reason why many people feel lousy about themselves and fail to achieve is because they don't like who they are. Many people think that they must first become successful before they start loving themselves and their life. In fact, the opposite is true. You must first love yourself before you can become successful. People who love and feel good abut themselves have what is called HIGH SELF-ESTEEM
The Most Important Person In Your Life Is
Let me give you the most important reason why you should love yourself. Imagine that there was someone whom you have to spend the rest of your life with. You had to spend every minute of every day with this person, day in and day out. This person is the first you see when you wake up in the morning and the last person you see when you go to sleep. This person is there on all your life's special occasions: your birthday, Christmas, New Year, your wedding and finally, your funeral. This person is there during all of your life's ups and downs. This person shares your sorrows and your joys. When you are down, only this person can cheer you up. When you fall, only this person can pick you up. When you set a goal, only this person can give you the motivation and confidence to achieve it. This person will never leave you and is the only one you can truly depend on. If you didn't like this person, wouldn't your life be absolutely miserable? You'd be forever stuck to a person you didn't like. You wouldn't be able to do anything! I am sure you can guess that this person is YOU!
YOU are the most important person in your own life.
--------------------The Power of Loving Yourself-------------------
When you really love someone, you always want the very best for him or her, right? You would do anything for them. You would make sacrifices for them and defend them if anyone speaks badly of them. The same thing goes when you love yourself. When you love yourself, you will want the very best for yourself. You would not accept anything less than the best for yourself. You will want the best relationships, the best career, the best partner and the best home. You will not accept being in an abusive relationship. You will not accept being stuck in a job you hate. You will not accept a mediocre life that is going nowhere. In other words, those who love themselves dream big and set high standards for themselves. At the same time, you would be willing to work hard and make sacrifices for yourself. You will be willing to sacrifice the effort to go to the gym, to read a self-improvement book and to avoid unhealthy foods that are bad for you.
When You Like Yourself, People Will Start to Like You
When I talk about loving yourself, I am not talking about being an arrogant, egotistical braggart who looks at your self every ten minutes and boastfully says, 'I am the greatest'. Nobody likes people like that! In fact, people who really love themselves never boast or show off! They don't need to. They already feel good about themselves inside. When you like yourself, you will feel good about yourself. You will have the confidence to take on challenges, make friends and beoutgoing. You will smile alot and talk positively about yourself and others. People who feel good about themselves see the good in others and give them sincere encouragement and praise. This confidence and positive attitude will make you really charming and attractive to others. People will start to admire and respect you. People love being around positive people because it makes themfeel good as well.
-----------------------------------------------What Happens When You Don't Love Yourself
On the other hand, people who hate themselves tend to remain unhappy and unsuccessful. When you don't like yourself, you tend to put yourself down, think negatively of yourself and set low personal standards. Over the years i met and coach alot of people, from teens to working professionals, I remember asking one of my friends Steve, whom i was helping him setting up his business, halfway in the business, he did not see the results he wanted and was leaving everything to a stop. I finally got to him and ask him what he was aiming to go for in life?
He said, ' I don't know, see lor. ' 'at that time i said, you got to have a plan, if not you will fall into other people`s plan, With a goal, to achieve some level of financial security, to learn skills to value add to yourself, you can truly get out of your job(which he truly did not like) and live a more comfortable life. You can get success, respect and more money, most importantly time" I said. He replied, 'who cares?'
At the time, I couldn't understand why steve would not care about his own future. Later I realized it was because Steve did not like himself very much. In his mind, he did not think he deserved a great life. Its like a game of tennis, when he was playing with people who were the same level as he is, he feel good, after some time, he got a chance to play with people who were way better then him, Initially, he learned and work very hard, the process was fun, and then its comes a stage where he starts to feel that he can never catch up with them, thier level are just too way up there, the gap is too far... and many reasons and excuses came on why he should not play with them, " i will drag them down, i`m not cut for it, etc
When actually the real reason is, he was experiencing stress...
and stress is naturally there for you to improve.
Will you become better if you continue playing with people who were a higher level if you want to improve your game?
Your life is just like a game, some played it good, MOST play it miserably, but why? what do the most do when they are give a opportunity to become like the 20% (who were more successful in life) ?
So what does most people do? they go back and play with people who were a level below themselves, and they feel great ! its good to feel great, but you are not getting your desired outcome! to become better in the game, to become better in your game of life, to Live your dreams!
Steve, deep down in his heart, he believed that only other people who were better deserved such a successful life.
So, begin the journey of success and happiness by first loving yourself!
Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them!
Love andrew tan
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
a story to share
A Story to Share
一个故事与你分享
一个故事与你分享
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend,
'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
有一位瞎女很討厭自己因為眼睛瞎了。她也討厭每個人，唯一不討厭的是她的男朋友，因為他都常守在她身旁。於是她對她的男朋友說：「如果能讓我看到這個世界，我愿意嫁給你！」
One day,someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
有一天，有人捐了一對眼精給她。當紗布解開時，她能夠看到一切，包括她的男朋友。
He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her lifeled her to refuse to marry him.
男朋友問她：「現在你可以看到這世界，你愿意嫁給我嗎？」那女孩看了男朋友是個瞎子，他那對蓋上眼皮的眼睛嚇到了她，這是她無法想像。她想：要我嫁給他而一生對着他這個樣子，我無法接受。
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying:
'Take good care of your eyes, my dear,
for before they were yours,
they were mine.
' 於是，她的男朋友很傷心的離開她，幾天後寫了字條給她：「親愛的，請你好好照顧你的眼睛，因為它不是屬於你的之前，它是屬於我的。」
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
這也是人的腦會如何做當情況有所變動。只有少許人會記得他或她之前的生活及誰會在身旁當他或她處在困境的時候
Life Is a Gift !
生命是一份禮物
Today before you say an unkind word
- Think of someone who can't speak.
今天，當你要講一句不善之言－－請想想那些無法講話的人
Before you complain about the taste of your food
- Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
- Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
當你要埋怨食物的味道時－－請想想那些沒有食物吃的人
Before you complain about your husband or wife
- Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
- Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
當你要埋怨你的先生或太太時－－請想想那些在向上天哭訴要一個伴侶的人
Today before you complain about life
- Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
今天，當你要埋怨生活時－－請想想那些太早離開人世間的人
Before you complain about your children
- Think of someone who desires children but they're barren...
當你要埋怨小孩時－－請想想那些渴望小孩而無能生育的人
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean orsweep
- Think of the people who are living in the streets.
當你要爭論沒有人清理屋子時－－請想想那些住在街邊的人
Before whining about the distance you drive
-Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
當你在哀訴駕駛的路程－－請想想那些同樣的路程以代步的人
And whenyou are tired and complain about your job
- Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
當你很疲備而埋怨工作時－－請想想那些無工作，殘疾的，及那些多麼希望擁有你這份工作的人
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
- Remember that all of us make mistakes in life, and thats how we learn and become better, dont you agree?
當你想要指著人或互相譴責時－－請記得每一个人都曾犯过错，
从过程学习而改变得更好，大家不都是这样从中学习过来的吗？
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
- Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
當壓抑的念頭讓你無法振作時－－請你笑一笑想想：你還活著存在世間！
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Eight Steps to Problem Solving
By: Brian TracyThere is a simple eight step method for systematic problem solving. By solving problems in an orderly way, you can dramatically increase the power of your thinking.
Proceed With A Positive Attitude
First, approach the problem with the expectant attitude that there is a logical practical solution just waiting to be found. Be relaxed, calm, confident and clear in your mind.Second, change your language from negative to positive. Instead of the word "problem," use the word "situation." Problem is a negative word while situation is a neutral word. "We have an interesting situation", is better than, "We have a problem."
Define the Situation Clearly
The third step in systematic problem-solving is to define the situation clearly, in writing. "Exactly what is the situation?" Then ask, "What else is the situation?" Sometimes stating the problem in different words makes it much easier to solve.Once, when I was working with the Chamber of Commerce, I came to the attention of a senior executive who hired me away from the company I was working for a year later at triple the salary. Meeting people is very important. Network at every opportunity.Fully 50% of situations can be resolved by accurate definition.
Identify Causes and Solutions
Step number four is to, ask "What are all the possible causes of this situation?" Failure to identify the causes or reasons for the situation often causes you to have to solve it again and again. Fully 25% or more of situations can be effectively dealt with by discovering the correct causes.Step number five is to ask, "What are all the possible solutions?" Write out as many solutions or answers to the situation as possible before moving on. The quantity of possible solutions usually determines the quality of the solution chosen.
Clear Decisions Are Key
Step number six is to "Make a clear decision." Usually any decision is better than none.Step number seven is to "Assign clear responsibility for carrying out the decision and then set a deadline for completion and review." Remember, a decision without a deadline is just a fruitless discussion.Finally, step number eight is to follow-up, monitor the decision, compare actual results with expected results and then generate new solutions and new courses of action.
Action Exercises
Now, here are two ways you can apply this technique to think more creatively.First, state the problem clearly, in writing, so that you know exactly what it is that you are trying to solve. Ask, "What else is the problem?"Second, develop as many solutions as you possibly can, including doing nothing, before you make a decision. Quality of ideas is in direct proportion to the quantity that you generate.
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