Adrian & Sandra 幸福的开始 - 之大哥的祝福

今天，3月14日2009, 我非常高兴，因为是我弟弟的大日子，也是我们陈家的大喜之日，真的是喜气洋洋，热闹得很。。。

我还记得，

好几年前，我弟还在当兵时，有个女生，三天两头就跑来我家，说要帮我弟弟拿gameboy。。。 就从老远的 jurong 跑来 yishun 在从 yishun 跑回 jurong 的兵营拿去给我弟，

不然就是拿老婆饼，ang gu kueh 之类的复古点心，哈哈.... 给我们家人吃。那时我们家,心里在想，这女生真的不错。。。

有一回，

印象挺深的，因为那时我朋友也在，我弟刚从兵营回来，他只要把背包放下，

就好了！

他也可以完全放心的等到要回兵营时，再把已经整理好的背包，《已放好在原位》，再带回去，

就可以了 ！

不细心的女生是做不到的，说印象很深，是因为，那回，我弟的脚好像中了感染，他就在玩Game, 这女生就蹲在旁帮他敷脚，那时我和我朋友都说，这女生，好！

又有一次，

发现她在厕所，去了很久都没出来，在想, 发生了什么事？后来才发现, 原来她看见厕所有点脏，就干脆的把厕所给洗刷了。这时候，我们就知道这女生不止对我弟好，她对他家人也很照顾，这女生的品格真是棒！

今天我好开心，
因为我弟能够娶到一个这么好的老婆，她的名字就是“如芳”
我知道，她必定能够成为我弟的贤内助，协助，支持与鼓励她丈夫，无论是在事业，家庭，生活，助他，一臂之力。

至于我弟其实就不必再多说，哈哈。。。

他做事认真，一心一意，很负责任，非常踏实，给人很有安全感，真的可说是“一表人才”
找丈夫就要找这样的啦！真的像我弟这样的强手货，真的很难找了！真的恭喜恭喜
我知道我弟，他“绝对能够给你幸福的!”

在这里，我相信，
你们从决定要结婚，并向大家和我们宣布要结婚，一路走来,直到今天，你们一定在，做人处事，人与人之间的相处，等等，都体会与成长很多。
今天我们全家那么幸福，美满，这可说是我们全家人，一起的努力。

我们还要继续努力，让这个幸福持续下去。。。

这过程里，

我看到你们在碰到问题时，你们夫妻一条心，一起去面对，一起寻找解决方案，互相商量，体谅，包容对方，我感到真的很欣慰，而从中也在你们身上学到很多，你们真的做得很好！

当然在处理问题时，难免会有意见不同，甚至吵架的时候，但吵架，其实是一个机会，

一个让你更加了解对方的机会。


在这，
我想和你们分享，如何让你更了解对方，更有默契，的七项规则

建立您幸福，美满婚姻的七项规则
这条路我们要一起走下去，碰到错则，挑战时难免会有不同的看法，意见，吵架是让我们更了解对方的机会，所以我们一定要遵守我们定下的这七项规则

1. 永不分离
不管发生什么事，都不可以有分离的念头，夫妻一条心，没有事情是不能解决的，因为问题也是人制造出来的

2. 不谈过去
不谈过去的事情，因为你都已经知道，或都也已经是过去了，最重要的是现在，和未来

3. 不人身攻击

4. 注意声量
尽量把声音压低

5. 注意情绪
如果情绪太激动，不如先走开，等自己平静点在谈，因为话在
嘴里你能控制，话说了出来，它会在对方的心理造成怎样的伤害你不能控制

6. 针对事情而不是人
问题在事情，不能接受的是那一时的行为，不是哪个人，因为，人你早已接受了

7. 以告诉对方你的感受来交淡
举例- 我感到.. 我很… 等等. 这可以真正让对方知道，那行为所造成的影响
你弄到我， 你把我， 这可是差很多的， 因为是指责性的,而没人是喜欢被指责的，所以会更难找出问题的真正根源

我把这送给你们，
你们夫妻俩，可以自己修改，定下属于你们自己的规则，祝你们幸福美满，百年好合


很久以前就已经把这女孩当做一家人，
但今天起，正式成为了我们的一分子，从今天起，要称呼陈太太了，哈哈！至于我们陈家，就简单啦。。。
请翻阅家规共一千三百零一页，并熟背每条家规，哈哈！开玩笑的啦。。。
只有一个要求，要孝顺爸妈。。。




幸福原来就是这么一回事。。。

累不累？ 累。。。

辛不辛苦？

不辛苦。

幸福开始了。。。

建立您幸福，美满婚姻，感情的七项规则

建立您幸福，美满婚姻的七项规则
这条路我们要一起走下去，碰到错则，挑战时难免会有不同的看法，意见，吵架是让我们更了解对方的机会，所以我们一定要遵守我们定下的这七项规则

1. 永不分离
不管发生什么事，都不可以有分离的念头，夫妻一条心，没有事情是不能解决的，因为问题也是人制造出来的

2. 不谈过去
不谈过去的事情，因为你都已经知道，或都也已经是过去了，最重要的是现在，和未来

3. 不人身攻击

4. 注意声量
尽量把声音压低

5. 注意情绪
如果情绪太激动，不如先走开，等自己平静点在谈，因为话在
嘴里你能控制，话说了出来，它会在对方的心理造成怎样的伤害你不能控制

6. 针对事情而不是人
问题在事情，不能接受的是那一时的行为，不是哪个人，因为，人你早已接受了

7. 以告诉对方你的感受来交淡
举例- 我感到.. 我很… 等等. 这可以真正让对方知道，那行为所造成的影响
你弄到我，你把我， 这可是差很多的， 因为是指责性的,而没人是喜欢被指责的，所以会更难找出问题的真正根源

A letter to you out there

A letter to my aai family members out there who is braving their own battles in their lives...

There alot of moments that you guys had left in my heart, as i always said.. brothers and sisters are from the heart, not just a phrase. The true faith of believing in people. believing in that there will be people just like me , just like you, whom i said, with just a simple sincere heart in making a friend, "to me, making a lifelong bro n sis, like that of a family, as you guys came into aai family"
the only thing different is the blood ties, while all the rest is the same, i believe its possible to treat everyone just like my own brother, and my own sister, though most of you were completely strangers before... but when we work together, played together, enjoy festive moments together there its just goes, and i had did it, had you felt it?
that will be a recheck for me to improve and change for the better...

Tto you guys out there, sometimes with time u may lose the faith in people, you may forget this crazy man, always full of hope, enthusiam, and naggy i believe haha... but if you happen to reach out to that memory of yours, and remember that this man was once in your life, find back that courage, find back that innocence in you, do not be polluted by the ugly side of life, there is always the pretty one on the other side.

Im writing this letter to all if you out there because i believe that you have your own challenges ahead, and remember i always said, there will always be problems( challenges ) in your life, its a way for you to grow, do not learn to avoid problems like most people, eg. workplace, etc
* Life is a mean teacher, she always gives you the experience first, then the lesson * (and you dont have to experience all yourself, you can always learn from others experience too)
I believe that your heart has us, have aai family, over the years i got to know this sad fact and that is those who heart has me as a bro, does not dare or may not want to find me... there are a few reasons, some felt a sense of guilt, some do not want changes, some fear of stress, some feels the time is not now, and the list goes on, so i thought of an idea,
1st I want to let you guys know, family is in the heart , and i still keep you guys in my heart..
2nd I thought, why not i reach out to you guys instead. But not to ask you to come back, *you will have to come back yourself if and when you want. aai family will be awaiting for the return.
Just to continue to share and help when you need an different channel of opinion when you are faced with problems (we call situations)
I
do my best to update, articles on life skills, relationships, investing, etc... including some of my updates or interesting stuffs.
feel free to write in to me if you have some questions, i will post it up here as anoynomous so you too can help people in return... issues who you wish to keep it private just let me know.. but i hope i do not get too much private issues, so that most people can learn and leverage from each other :)

take care, you are your own Miracle Maker in life, Take Massive actions, Live your Dreams!

-Love li shao
The Miracles Makers Group

Eight Steps to Problem Solving

By: Brian TracyThere is a simple eight step method for systematic problem solving. By solving problems in an orderly way, you can dramatically increase the power of your thinking.

Proceed With A Positive Attitude

First, approach the problem with the expectant attitude that there is a logical practical solution just waiting to be found. Be relaxed, calm, confident and clear in your mind.Second, change your language from negative to positive. Instead of the word "problem," use the word "situation." Problem is a negative word while situation is a neutral word. "We have an interesting situation", is better than, "We have a problem."

Define the Situation Clearly

The third step in systematic problem-solving is to define the situation clearly, in writing. "Exactly what is the situation?" Then ask, "What else is the situation?" Sometimes stating the problem in different words makes it much easier to solve.Once, when I was working with the Chamber of Commerce, I came to the attention of a senior executive who hired me away from the company I was working for a year later at triple the salary. Meeting people is very important. Network at every opportunity.Fully 50% of situations can be resolved by accurate definition.

Identify Causes and Solutions

Step number four is to, ask "What are all the possible causes of this situation?" Failure to identify the causes or reasons for the situation often causes you to have to solve it again and again. Fully 25% or more of situations can be effectively dealt with by discovering the correct causes.Step number five is to ask, "What are all the possible solutions?" Write out as many solutions or answers to the situation as possible before moving on. The quantity of possible solutions usually determines the quality of the solution chosen.

Clear Decisions Are Key

Step number six is to "Make a clear decision." Usually any decision is better than none.Step number seven is to "Assign clear responsibility for carrying out the decision and then set a deadline for completion and review." Remember, a decision without a deadline is just a fruitless discussion.Finally, step number eight is to follow-up, monitor the decision, compare actual results with expected results and then generate new solutions and new courses of action.

Action Exercises

Now, here are two ways you can apply this technique to think more creatively.First, state the problem clearly, in writing, so that you know exactly what it is that you are trying to solve. Ask, "What else is the problem?"Second, develop as many solutions as you possibly can, including doing nothing, before you make a decision. Quality of ideas is in direct proportion to the quantity that you generate.